Sexless marriages have existed way before the general population has consciously addressed the problem. In some situations, conservative couples would rather abstain than use any form of contraception.
In other cases, people believe that having children is the only reason for sex. But today, more and more people understand that that physical intimacy is a couple’s natural way of expressing their love for each other.
Thus, the absence of this significant component is a frequent symptom of a loveless marriage altogether. Partners in sexless marriages are suffering because they feel frustrated and rejected by their spouses.
They might feel like their spouse no longer fancies them anymore, or worse – has fallen out of love with them.
Whether there was no sex in marriage early on or a significant event triggered a sexless marriage (e.g. a new baby, getting fired, etc.), it can be very suffocating for the partners involved.
But how can you avoid this trap when so many other marriages have fallen prey to it?
Ask yourself: is my marriage in general a good venue for mutual trust, respect and goodwill?
If not, these factors could be the reason why the relationship isn’t conducive for sex. In order for regular physical intimacy to be present, it has to rest on a solid foundation first.
As such, there are a number of key factors to consider, such as meeting emotional needs, the level of positive feelings in the relationship and support for one another. If you believe that you’re having problems in any of these aspects, it only makes sense that your sex life will suffer as well.
Aside from these things, there are other possible causes not necessarily involving you two. For instance, external factors like a hormonal imbalance, loss of employment, having a baby, busy schedules or a personal crisis can also be a cause of no sex in marriage.
Whatever the factors are, you’ll need to dig deeper with the help of a marriage course or counselor because let’s face it: couples who are hostile to each other can’t expect to be spending a lot of time between the sheets.
This is a broad concept in the general context of relationships, but there are specific things that can be done when there’s no sex in marriage.
For instance, you need to talk to your spouse about your sexual needs. More often than not, a couple can address a lack of sex by simply knowing what the other wants!
You might be surprised to find out that people have differing sex drives, and this plays a large role in their sexual relationships. One partner might be perfectly happy with making love twice a week while the other prefers every day.
If any compromise is to be reached, you need to first openly discuss what satisfies each of you (behind closed doors and/or with a therapist of course).
Otherwise, you’ll never know when and how often your spouse wants to have sex. Compare and discuss your respective wants, needs and schedules. The only way you’re going to hash this out is if you figure out what works for BOTH of you.
#3: Stop Making Excuses
We’ve all been guilty of putting something off from time to time. However, preventing a loveless marriage means you can’t afford to put off the intimacy.
It’s one thing to be responsible and another to foolishly believe you can do everything by yourself and not compromise an aspect of your life. You can’t use your busy schedule or other manageable factors as reasons not to have sex.
Make the conscious effort to spend time together, even if it means passing up a project, saying “no” to a social engagement or leaving the kids with their grandparents. If you really wanted to, you can very well make arrangements to ensure that you’ll get to spend some quality time with your spouse.
Although sex isn’t the end-all, be-all of your relationship, having enough of it adds a whole other dimension to your marriage. Let’s be honest – married life is just not the same without it.