Couples who are going through a marriage crisis are often tempted to hanker for the old days when they still saw each other through rose-colored glasses.
People usually refer to this time as the honeymoon phase.
With the relationship still in its infancy, the partners are caught in a whirlwind of passionate emotions, incapable of finding any fault in each other.
That’s because this highly idealistic phase temporarily obscures the truth that a marriage is made up of two separate people with differing perspectives on life.
When the sparks stop flying and things calm down a bit, you’ll eventually come to face to face with your differences, and the experience can be very traumatic for some spouses.
And so a couple’s naive vision of how the relationship should be is shattered in the sobering wake of reality. Some are downright disgusted with suddenly realizing that their marriage is in fact, far from perfect.
How could a marriage that started out so wonderfully end up in such a woeful state?
This is the very question that keeps many a disillusioned spouse from denying the existence of the marriage crisis which is staring them in the face.
Thus, some partners opt to think back to a trouble-free past, wishing things could go back to the way they were before.
But this kind of wishful thinking is damaging in the long run because you need to acknowledge ALL the aspects of the relationship, be it good or bad.
However, dealing with the negative stuff has to be done in a constructive way. Just because you have to take a hard look at the not-so-pleasant moments of the marriage doesn’t mean you should start blaming each other for the way things are now.
I would like you to consider the root causes behind your present woes and address them accordingly. Of course, relationship problems aren’t the same as say, an issue with your computer which requires a straightforward solution.
A marital crisis is anything BUT simple, and taking the first step to deal with it is often the hardest. However, it must be done; otherwise, refusing to acknowledge and understand it is counterproductive.
History has a way of repeating itself, so you have to address this part of your marriage to stop yourselves from repeating the same behavioral cycles over and over.
This way, you’ll need to sit down with your spouse and make sure you’re on the same page.
First, a good goal-setting session is an excellent way to clear the air about which direction the marriage should take.
This is one of the most common things couples fight about. so it’s better to get everything out in the open and do a re-evaluation of the things you’d like to accomplish as a couple and individually.
As painful as this first step may be, you’ll get to the bottom of your disagreements by taking a second look at the origins of the relationship. This in itself is a huge dent to a marriage crisis because you can then move on to the next step.
In the long run, getting past this initial challenge is beneficial as it will mark the start of a new relationship with your spouse. While this may not be the be-all-end-all-solution, it’s certainly the breakthrough you’ll need.