No matter what kind of problems couples face, the most common symptom we’ve noticed is the lack of time they have for each other. This basic but often overlooked aspect is what keeps people from having a happy marriage.
We usually hear from readers that their dates are months (or even years!) apart. Most of the couples in trouble don’t realize it’s been that long until we ask them about it.
The trouble with this mindset is that you’re endangering a perfectly happy marriage by letting all the other stuff (e.g. work, chores, etc.) come between you and your spouse. What about the reason why you got married in the first place?
It’s easy to forget such a fundamental thing when you allow yourselves to take each other for granted. Before you got married, you and your partner probably had lofty ideas of how you’d spend your days together.
Maybe you envisioned having your morning coffee, reading the newspaper and then heading out to the park to walk the dog with your kids. Whatever it is, we’ve all had grandiose visions of a happy marriage.
However, not all of us accounted for the mundane stuff like going to work, doing household chores and managing finances.
But don’t fall into the trap of making the everyday things an excuse to keep you apart as a couple. Marital bliss isn’t as elusive as some might think it is.
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As they say, if there’s a will, there’s a way.
Your parents, the local sitter, and a concerned relative or friend are all part of a network of people you can ask for help. You can leave the kids with them so you can free up your schedule for some badly-needed “we time”.
While a weekend at a luxury cruise or at an out-of-town cabin is great, not all of your precious moments have to be spent this way. Marital bliss is possible even with simple activities like doing a movie marathon at home in your pajamas or reminiscing your earlier days over a bottle of wine by the fireplace.
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The thing about marital bliss is that it isn’t directly proportional to the amount of time or money spent on your activities. You’ve put a lot of energy to make the other aspects of your lives work (e.g. work, parenthood, hobbies), so you can certainly do the same for your marriage.
Remember, these shared moments should be exclusively between you two, and not with other relatives or mutual friends. You need allow yourselves a chance to re-focus on each other – the most important component of your relationship.