Top 4 Causes For Divorce (And What To Do About It)

Do you find yourself worrying about divorce in your

Are you concerned about all of the couples around you that
you see ending up divorced?

Do you ever look at your spouse or your marriage and worry
that you are heading down the same terrible path?

Divorce is a terrible thing and though it has become so
prevalent, it doesn't always have to be that way.

If you find yourself worrying about your marriage heading
down this path, there are some things to be aware of.

Many experts will tell you that there are four main
predictors that indicate if divorce is in the foreseeable
future. In many instances you can reverse the behavior and
path with a bit of attention and compassion.

So if you find that your marriage or feelings for your
spouse fall into one of these areas below, it's time to pay
attention and do what you can to reverse it once and for

Top 4 Causes For Divorce

1. Being overly critical with each other:
When people start getting too comfortable and criticizing rather than
talking, things take a wrong turn.

Being supportive is great and offering advice is one
thing, but that can quickly evolve into criticism. You may
not even realize that you are doing it with each other,
but well meaning advice can evolve into nagging or even

Try to take a step back and recognize if you are critical
with your spouse and then work to correct it.

When you feel comfortable with each other, it's easy
enough to point out each other's problem areas or try to
push them to be better.

If it seems that the criticism is overly negative,
unwarranted, or not taken well, then it's time to put a
stop to this behavior. Replace with some positivity and
focus instead on what you appreciate about each other for
a wonderful twist that can help save your marriage!

2. Being defensive instead of working as a team:
Every couple fights but some couples go after each other with

Being on the defensive or even worse the offensive is good
for a game, but not for a marriage. You may not think that
you set out to hurt each other but it quickly manifests
into that.

You bring past mistakes or fights into current discussions
and the arguments transform into something awful from

A couple that is successfully married for the long haul
has a mutual respect for each other and the point of view
that the other person holds.

Though you may not always agree with each other, when you
are defensive, testy, or hurtful with each other is when
bad things happen.

Try not to introduce this mindset or way of living into
the marriage-and if it's already there then work to
replace it with respect, compromise, and some sort of
support or understanding.

Work together or you work against each other!

3. Using the silent treatment improperly:
Different fighting styles can wreak havoc on the best of marriages.

If one of you needs time to cool down in a fight and the
other doesn't this can be perceived as the silent
treatment and it simply doesn't work.

Not only that but using silence to avoid confrontation
rather than address issues in a healthy and well
intentioned manner can deteriorate the best marriage. You
need to be careful about silence as it can act as a
weapon, whether you mean for it to or not.

If you have issues to discuss then do so in a healthy and
calm manner. If you need a moment to calm down, then
verbalize that the right way. When silence replaces
conversation then the marriage is heading in a downward
spiral and it's time to stop it!

4. Feeling contempt towards one another rather than respect:
When you think of what contempt is at the core
it's a true combination of disgust and anger.

That is surely never going to be a good foundation for a
marriage to work off of. You have more than likely made
mistakes in the past that you wish you could have taken

You both likely harbor ill feelings about past issues in
your marriage or even previous relationships. When you
show contempt towards each other, nothing positive will
come out of it.

You must find a way to respect each other, even if you
don't always respect each other's choices. So though you
may have a hard time getting over something in the past or
take issue with your spouse in some way, you must find a
way to get through it.

If you don't and you continue to show contempt towards
each other, then you can practically assure that your
marriage won't work.

Marriage is not always easy and takes two people to make
it successful.

If you can overcome these most common causes for divorce,
then you can be one of the great success stories that people
look to in a positive light!

Readers... Do you have any common problem areas that are
causing your marriage grief?

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8 comments on “Top 4 Causes For Divorce (And What To Do About It)”

  1. This is exactly what Ive gone through. After two years of separation and 25 years of marriage we hang out together and do few things together but she still holds things in contempt and the things are so stupid but it justifys her separation whenever I disagree with this separation.

  2. right, my partner of 20 years has turned from the loving and concerned to the overly critical, silent and communicates only when there is something negative to say about me.

  3. I am grateful to you for giving such golden tips to save my marriage. I am acting upon your advice and things are getting much better than ever before. May God bless you and your family!

  4. I see all the points here. However, my issue of contempt with my husband stemmed from distrusting him. He has done a lot of distrustful and deceitful things in the past and reoccurred recently. I am, once again, going through this cycle of contempt and he becomes defensive with everything I question. I was able to let go and work things out when this happened in the past, but I don't know how to get past it this time.

  5. Hi Lynn,

    In your case, it seems that too much has happened, and this has caused the negative feelings to outweigh the positive ones in your marriage. As a a result, the growth of your relationship has been stifled by the occurrences of distrust in the past. The best way to move forward with your husband is to address the issues that have brought you to this point (e.g. by counseling or discussing these with him). Only then can you break the cycle of contempt and restore the friendship with your spouse.

  6. I was emotionally shut down & sexless for 15 years. My husband says he has come to view me differently & has lost his attraction to me. We still love each other but he says he has a hole in him that I cannot fill & I feel his lack of attraction to me (he treats me like a buddy). We have no intimacy. We've spent the last year crying, we're both so hurt...what to do from here?

  7. Resentment is a cruel tool. Harboring resentment
    is a constant feed of negative energy that sucks a relationship's aground. One can't survive with constant negativity in there life.

  8. Am emotional charted and left sexless, I lost trust in my husband because he has gone back to secret life with the excuse that he is working on a business he like to keep from me. I am bitter about him because he left the training and provision of the children for me and bring little but spend more on him self. Am contemplating divorce but my children refuse

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