It may feel like it's over and there is nothing you can do...
But you have more power over your future than you think.
They may say they hate you or never want to see you again. They may have already shifted out.
But you can stop divorce from happening in your marriage by following these 5 steps:
1. Don't be afraid to make the first move
It's very tempting to assume the victim mentality in a marriage dispute and wait for your spouse to make the first move to save your marriage. The problem is, while you are waiting for them to initiate the process, you could be losing them.
Every moment you're living in negativity or living apart, you're reinforcing those behaviors that prevent you from getting back together.
Being the first to apologize or initiate conversation isn't a sign of weakness. And being right isn't all that great if you end up divorced. Making the first move is a tangible sign of your commitment to the marriage. It also begins the transformation from negativity to solving your problems. Your actions may be the one thing that saves your marriage.
2. Listen and learn
All of us have things we want to say, things we want to defend, and frustrations we want to voice. But equally important as talking is the ability to listen.
Listen to what your spouse is trying to tell you. Consider how their feelings have influenced their actions and responses. A moment listening may alleviate hours of miscommunication or misunderstanding about what the real issues are and how you can heal them.
3. Be willing to make changes
Every crisis opportunity is a chance to take a look at yourself and the relationship and make some changes. It may be an emerging lifestyle pattern that has led your marriage to the brink of collapse. That's why it's important to consider what changes you can both make to improve the relationship.
It might mean a change of jobs, a change of home or town, and a commitment to living your dream life instead of your current life. An ability to see changes with an open mind can pay dividends for the long-term success of your marriage.
4. Think and talk solutions
It's easy to point out the things you or your spouse has done wrong. The real challenge is in considering and discussing solutions to the problems that plague your marriage. This change of mindset, from a victim and problems mindset to a creative and solutions-based mindset is vital to looking forward and forever fixing the marriage issues rather than sweeping them under the carpet.
5. Invest in the relationship
Being in a relationship can be exhausting. It can also be competitive. A relationship doesn't have to come at a cost to your sense of self. A healthy, supportive relationship can assist you in reaching your goals rather than hinder them. By investing your time and efforts into your relationship, and working on being the best husband or wife you can possibly be, the rewards both to your sense of happiness and wellbeing can be huge.
Resist the temptation to invest in negativity. Put that effort into you and your relationship and watch your future grow.