Every morning you are waking up to the same dull feeling.
You and your spouse move like robots through the same old morning routine: shower, get dressed, breakfast, goodbye, out the door. You barely even register their lips on yours as you are already thinking about everything you need to get done that day.
Later, you will both come home exhausted, reheat last nights dinner, argue about the housework and may even have some mechanical sex before you both roll over and pass out.
Is this how your marriage has started to feel?
Unfortunately, all marriages go through patches where the heat has run dry and you’ve become stuck in this void of empty routine. Although these patches are usually a result of the natural change and growth of love over time, they can be very unsettling times which may make you doubt your relationship.
Your partner may feel more like a friend, or even a stranger. A million miles away from the person who used to take your breath away, by the pure amount of desire you saw in their eyes when they looked at you.
The good news is, that as long as you are both committed to your marriage and can work through these hard times, your passion WILL naturally reignite. You will be able to enjoy an even deeper, more soulful bond of love.
However, if you would like to relight the flame and speed up this process, here are three secret ways you can use to get the passion and excitement back in your marriage.
Close your eyes. Lay down on your back.
Imagine being touched by your spouse. Picture their hands roaming over your body, intertwining your fingers, caressing your face, your neck, your lips. Picture their eyes looking at you like they did when you first met. Feel them holding you close, wrapping their arms tightly around you.
Now revel in the fact that they are the ONE PERSON you have chosen to be able to touch and caress you like this.
Are you giving your partner the opportunity to worship and enjoy the mind, soul and body you have chosen to share with them? Are you allowing yourself to fully appreciate their touch?
Although your relationship may not be as steamy as it was when you first started dating, we never lose the need for touch from our spouses. Regular physical contact satisfies our need for belonging and connection, and has really powerful positive effects on our wellbeing. Did you know that hugs from your loved one alone can lower your blood pressure?
If thinking about your partner’s touch left you filled with warmth and desire, think about how you have the power to make them feel exactly this same way. YOU are the one they have chosen to be able to love and touch them intimately. Even in the hardest of times, they WANT your touch. They NEED your touch.
Relight their passion with your touch of love.
If you kiss them goodbye in the morning, be in the kiss. Focus on the feel of their mouth against your own and let it communicate your love. Try surprising them by holding their hand, wrapping your arms around their waist, cuddling them on the couch, offering a massage.
You’ll be amazed by how quickly increasing your day-to-day touching will relight that fire between you, strengthen those bonds of love and connection, and have you rediscovering each other in the bedroom.
2. Try out something new together
When was the last time you tried out something new? Something which challenged you, got your heart racing, made you feel 10 years younger?
A great way to break up routine and spark excitement in your marriage is to try out a new activity with your spouse.
Can you remember the first time you went to a theme park with your spouse? Played a sport together? Tried a new food? Remember those tingles of nervousness and excitement, and how special it felt to be sharing this new experience with someone?
Trying a new activity with your spouse will help you to recreate some of these feelings and see each other in a new light.
This could be joining a sports team together, taking a cooking or massage class, or if you’re feeling more adventurous, why not book in a bungee or skydive! The more adrenaline-provoking the activity is, the more likely it is to spark sexual chemistry between the two of you.
Go on - have a little fun. If it doesn’t turn out to be your thing, at least you will be able to laugh about it together afterwards.
3. Surprise your spouse
When we are going through stale patches in our marriages, we are tired, worn down, frustrated and stuck in a rut of endless routine. Nothing out of the ordinary happens to spark our interest or excitement, and we often end up wondering where the ‘fun’ version of ourselves has gone.
The best way to change this? Spontaneity and surprise.
Imagine if you got home from work one day and your partner was waiting there to open the door for you. You walk in to see a spotless house, and your partner looking the most amazing and dressed up you have seen them in months. They take the work gear out of your hands, look into your eyes and tell you that they are taking you out for a special dinner.
Imagine the surprise, the anticipation, all the stress from the day sliding away. How valued and appreciated you would feel.
YOU have the power to make your partner feel like this. YOU are the ONLY ONE who can truly sweep them off their feet and take their breath away.
Even if it is just something small like making your spouse their toast and coffee in the morning, or something more extravagant like the scenario above, surprising your loved one will make them feel incredibly loved and cherished. It can be guaranteed that they will want to make you feel the exact same way.
*** Remember, you can save your marriage, even if it feels like you're the only one trying. And if you want more tips on how to reignite the passion in your marriage, check out the expert advice at Save My Marriage Today
I really hope you can use these tips to reignite some of the sparks in your marriage. Please feel free to comment and share your own experiences below. I would love to hear your feedback!