Today is a really cold day. I’m rugged up against the cold wearing a shirt, blazer, and a scarf, the kind of "eurotrash" look that Jude Law pioneered in the movie "Alfie". Some of my work colleagues looked at me as I walked into the office this morning and remarked that I looked nice and snug. I guess I did.
Anyway, it got me to thinking of how my relationship is, and how snug I felt with my partner. It’s not always easy, much like a cold wind wind can remind you of how much work you have to do to stay warm, there are times in my relationship that I am reminded of how much work I have to do to keep things alive and healthy.
A friend of mine likened the maintenance of a relationship to tending a fire. You have to keep putting the pieces of wood on to keep the flames burning well. I guess it reminds me of the saying "keep the home fires burning".
And it led me to wonder… do relationships go through seasons in the same manner the weather does, and if so, does the way we live our life have to reflect the season?
I believe so. In the same way you rake leaves in the autumn, shovel snow in the winter, pick daffodils in the spring, and mow the lawns in the summer, the way we maintain our relationship can be a seasonal thing. At the moment I’m nesting. It’s getting cold where I am, and the nights are getting cooler, so when I leave the office at night I hurry to my car and drive home to get the fire lit and the house warm. By the time my partner gets home the house is warm and the aroma of the evening meal wafts through the kitchen. In my efforts to get warm and comfortable, I extend this nurturing and caretaking aspect to my partner, so that I am better able to meet his needs both physically as the weather gets cold, and emotionally as the nights get long.
It is a fact that the weather changes your moods, and in the same way the seasons change, so too should your moods and the way you nurture and maintain your relationship. I have a lot more sex in the spring and summer, both indoors and outdoors, and liken autumn and winter to warm homes and warm beds. There is nothing better than being snug and warm in bed on a cold winter’s night, cuddling your partner.
So following this thought, consider what season you are in, and what you need to do to to make your relationship work. There is a season for spontaneity, a season for nurturing and caretaking, a season for exploring your fantasies and boundaries, and a season for celebrating your togetherness and mutual love for one another. Sure, you will weather a few storms and cloudy days, but the knowledge that better weather is ahead is often enough to maintain your effort and enthusiasm.
Enjoy the season.