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Welcome to my Save My Marriage Today Newsletter Series! If you are looking for effective, powerful tips and techniques to save your marriage from the verge of divorce and rebuild the love that you both once had - even if your partner doesn't want to - then read on!
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Amy Waterman
co-author of Save My Marriage Today!
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Do You Have Mutuality in Your Marriage?
By Andrew Rusbatch
Mutuality means specifically ‘The quality of correlation, reciprocation, interchange, interaction and interdependence.’ Mutuality in a marriage relationship normally includes all these and many more qualities.
Mutual feelings in a marriage will help a married couple support each other in good times and bad times alike, and are the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
Differences on physical, emotional and psychological basis do exist between a man and a woman, but these differences are recognized and understood in a healthy relationship. The process in overcoming these differences is the main stepping-stone towards developing a better relationship.
So How Do I Make It Work For Me?
If you came across a couple who has been married for quite sometime you tend to believe that they must be doing something right to keep their marriage intact. Successful marriages do have certain common factors that make their marriage work for both the partners. Some of them are:
- Mutual Admiration - partners should learn to admire each other’s positive qualities. It's really easy to point out what your partner is doing wrong, but when is the last time you complimented them or told them they are doing a good job?
When, for that fact, was the last time someone complimented you? In doing so, you will not give much importance to the other partner’s bad qualities. When mostly good is seen in the other person, your trust will grow and you will feel safe with him or her always.
- Mutual care – loving partners tend to take care of the other’s wants, needs, desires, goals and ambitions, expectations and values. They give their whole-hearted support to help their spouse meet success in all these aspects.
- Mutual commitment - from the beginning of the marriage, both partners should be committed to each other. Problems may surface on and off in daily life but committed partners always work them out as a team. Taking divorce as an option away from this process encourages both partners to face the problems rather than walk away from them. This is a very valuable life skill.
- Mutual communication – here we mean a reciprocal communication. Partners should be able to talk about anything and everything in their life. You should be able to share thoughts, fears, strengths, and dreams.
Your partner is the one person in the world that can see your true intimate self. Intimacy on this level is what sets good and bad marriages apart. Differences in the relationship can be acknowledged and dissolved through proper communication.
- Mutual consultation – partners consult each other with all matters – important or unimportant. Though decision-making by both may not be possible, they will be supportive of each other regardless of who makes the decision. This is the first transitional shift between individuality and coupledom.
- Mutual respect – respecting each other equally is very important in a marriage. When you respect somebody you make sure not to embarrass him or her in anyway. You stand by them and make them feel appreciated and important.
- Mutual Trust – this is the key factor that retains the relationship in a marriage. Partners should trust each other in every way. Being present in the relationship means that you enter the marriage in complete faith.
There is no love without risk, and complete faith is recognition that your trust in your spouse overcomes your fear of being hurt. You trust to be good to each other, to do good for yourself and the family. Trust means that while you may not always agree with the actions, you never doubt your partner’s intentions.
In a nutshell mutuality thrives when the couple possess the following qualities: Possess a nature of self-adjustment in order to get into a marriage relationship, a concern for mutual care, a basic idea of adjustment for mutual benefit, have an aim for mutual happiness and work towards the goal of peace of mind.
It's a simple concept, however everyday interaction makes it hard to achieve and attainment of the principles of mutuality is often difficult.
Knowledge of the principles is the first step, the next step is application.
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Amy Waterman
co-author of Save My Marriage Today!
About "Save My Marriage Today"
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