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Understanding Your Feelings
Written by Andrew Rusbatch
It’s one of those weird things that society or parents condition into us to believe. Feelings.
All of these emotions are considered to be a description of the different emotional states that we are in from time to time as we navigate our way through our daily lives and our marriages.
Yet despite us recognizing that these emotions are what we have and that we transfer from one state to another, at some stage in our lives many of us are conditioned to believe that some of these emotions are bad things to have.
Anger, frustration, and hurt are all feelings that we will feel from time to time. It’s part of life, especially when you are mixing with other people and developing interpersonal relationships. If we all agreed with each other all the time it would be a pretty surreal and scary place, like a Disney-esque type of existence.
For some of you this might seem like some type of Utopia, but not for me. I recognize that people are raised differently and have different belief systems, and part of the thrill of interpersonal relationships is in sharing common bonds and discussing differences in opinion. This is what makes each of us unique.
But the weird thing is that many people think it is bad to feel frustration, sadness, hurt and anger. It’s not. We have these feelings for a reason, and feeling these emotions makes them valid. It is recognizing that we have a soul, have passions, and have attachments to other people.
Having these feelings doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. They teach us something about ourselves and other people.
The point I will make here is that how you choose to express your emotions is what determines if this feeling is healthy or not. Recognizing and validating your feeling is fine. What you choose to do about it will determine if you have a healthy relationship with your feelings or not.
This is the first step to emotional maturity.
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