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The Things We Do…

Friday, April 21, 2006

posted by Andrew

It’s my partner’s birthday tomorrow, and I have been driving myself mad trying to find the perfect present that is going to show them how much love I feel. It’s not easy!

I am still in the stage in my relationship where we buy each other flowers from time to time, and send texts to each other during the day with brief pick-me-ups and affirmations of love for each other. It’s a really great thing, especially when your partner gets home and you see the look on their face as they see dinner on the table, candles lit, and flowers laying strategically across the perfectly made bed. I never get tired of seeing that, and that brief moment of almost childlike surprise and the smile that accompanies it makes all of the effort worthwhile.

How often do I hear of married couples making the same effort for their partner? Not all that often I’m afraid. When I tell my girl friends what I  have been planning or what I have done for my beloved, they roll their eyes, chuckle, and say "Gosh, I can’t remember the last time my partner did that! Can you teach my partner how to do it?"

I laugh. You don’t need to be taught how to be creative or romantic. One person’s idea of romantic can be very different to another’s. It could be a cooked dinner by candlelight, or it could be as simple as a loving note in your partner’s lunchbox. It might be a bunch of garden flowers. It could even be something as delightful as a caress or a look when you feel your partner really needs it. An acquaintance of mine told me the ultimate gesture for her is when her husband makes her a cup of tea and a biscuit and brings it to her on a tray.

It doesn’t need to be grand. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It just has to come from the heart.

So next time you are feeling exasperated with your husband or wife, think of the last time you did something romantic. Think of the last time you connected with your partner and affirmed your love for them. Sometimes it is too easy to point out the bad things and look past the need for compliments and assurance.

Love is a doing word. So go out and love your partner.

P.S. So what did I get my partner in the end? A weekend retreat at an alpine thermal resort, complete with sauna, spa, and massage. Looking forward to it!

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